BuBBa's ADventures

These are some stories about a guy I know that we call BuBBa. He is not your normal person or what we call normal. He came from down south somewhere and moved into our neck of the woods. When he moved here, he brought with him some of his hunting tactics. The following are stories that he has told me word for word. I have been trying to change his hunting methods since he got here, but that is a full time job, and really distracts from my hunting.

So, let the stories begin...

The Canoe Trip

(story by BuBBa)

Ben mighty hot here in dis neck of da woods. Jim-Bob comes up wit da brite idea we shuld go ons a canoe trip. Now we didnt' wants ta take da women wit us cuz they seems ta be mor truble at times, than there worth. Besides dat, we wuznt' gonna do no cookin, so whys' did we need dem? If'n we took them wit us, that meant we wuld have ta take da kids an we wanted ta jus have a weekend fer ourselfs. Kind of a guy thing. So we calls up Billy Bob, John T. an my cousin Jethro an asked em if they mites be intrested in goin along fer da trip. All thought it wuz a good idea, cept Jethro. He wuz a part of our famly an new darn well what jus mite happen, specially wit me an Jim-Bob along. We told em dat it wuz jus fer da guys an he'd have ta leeve his girlfriend Melinda Rae at home. She haz da face of an Angel, but da personality dat makes my Wannita seem likes one. I tried ta tell dat boy he jus don't know what kinda trouble he is settin himself up fer. He said da only reason he keeps her round is cuz she makes da best possum on a half shell ya ever ate. (Dats Armadillo fer ya cit folks). Anyways, Jethro does have 1 thing goin on fer him, he haz 1 of them fancy station wagons called a "Suburban". He showed up early dat mornin wit a friend named Clarence an da Suburban. We all met at my house. Of course, my Wannita jus had to poke her ugly face out da door an yell a couple comments at us. "You boys best be careful, an don't do's no drinkin!!" Of course, Jim-Bob jus looked at me an grinned as he wuz reachin in da ice chest to git us all a beer. As we wuza drivin off, we wuz laffin at what Wannita had said. She had ta hav known dat wuz never goin ta happen. Well, Jethro then got his first beer an muttered "I gots a bad feelin bout dis trip". Jim-Bob tole him, "What kan hapen, youre' wit us arent' ye?" I looked at Jim-Bob an said "Thats' what hes' worried bout Stupid!" We wents ta dis little town ovr in Missori, called Noel. Wez rented us sum canoes an loaded up all da supplies we wuz goin ta need fer da day- Beer, ice chest, beer, ice, hotdogs, an sum mor beer. Decided we didnt' needs any buns unless they jus wanted ta feed da fish, cuz they wuld git wet. Me an Jim-Bob got in 1 of da canoes, then Jethro rode wit Clarence, an Billy Bob an John T. wuz tagether. Ifn' ya never ben canoein befor, da hole object is ta hav fun an drink lots of beer. (Jus in case ya didnt' catch dat earlier). 1 of da fun thins ta do is git ahead of da others an hide round da bend, see em comin, then runs up an tip em over!! Can't do much bout it cuz if they waste too much time, all there beer will take off down stream. An ya knows da main pryorty is ta git da beer then try ta turn da canoe bak ovr. Then ya do it all ovr agin. Da first one bak up an runnin, gits on down da river an does da ambush thing ta da rest of em. This usually goes on first thing in da morning til we all gits hungry. Dats' wher those hotdogs come in. Now ifn' ya reel smart, (dat wuld be me) ya bring extry hotdogs long. Extry hotdogs are woth bout 2 dolars each. Someone is bound ta loose theres cuz they wuz 2 woried bout there beer! Now wez' had ben doin perty well cuz me an Jim-Bob still had our beer an hotdogs. Ya wuld be suprized what a fishin stringer can com in handy fer. We'd done this befor see, so we knew what ta expect. But as fer da other Goobers, they wuz out of dogs, but did manage ta keep there beer. Bout lunch time we all hads ta call a truce. Wez' tried ta stay out of mos of it anyway, but Jethro an Clarence wuz winnin da battle mos of da time. They hadnt's missed to many meals an wuz jus down rite big ole boys. Jethro an Clarence culd hav pased fer twins. They wuz both bout six three, two hunred an sixty pounds. Member those extry hotdogs? Two dolars a pop makes fer extry beer money ya know. Aftr we ate, Jethro gots a brite idea ta jump in da river from da bank. I tole him dat ya never know whats in dat water, but he said he knew its' deep here cuz he culdn't touch. So he went up da bank an did a cannon ball inta da water. When he hit da water, he bounced an jumped up screechin at da top of his lungs!! Bad thing wuz he didnt' jump up in da same place he wuz earlier. Bout four feet ovr wuz da hole he had ben in but he wuz standin in 3 feet of water. We thinks he broke his tail bone. He shore wuznt' much fer canoe tippin aftr dat. Now, wez' knew dat ta knot git inta truble, wez had ta keep all our empty beer cans. We wuld put em in da sack an then ties da sack back shut. John T. ambushed us from behin da river bridge jus as I wuz puttin a can in da sack. Unbeknownst ta me, Jim-Bob had threw a beer can in da bottom of da boat. We'z got tipped ovr an it seems one of da emptys got away. Unbeknowst ta us, da "River Rat Patrol" wuz up on da bridge wit da binoculars an saw dat can git away. They starts yellin fer us ta come ovr ta da bank. Wez' all come ovr an wanted ta know what they wanted. They said they wuz goin ta rite me an John T. a ticket fer littrin. I starts arguin da point wit him an tole him we hads all our cans wit us in da sack. Jim-Bob kinda hunkerd down in da boat an didnt' say nothin. Now John T. said he didnt' loose any cans an wanted ta know why he wuz gittin a ticket? The Rat Patrol said it wuz cuz he had tipped ovr our canoe an made it fall out By dis time me an John T. wuz furous an cussin dat old Rat Patrol up one side an down da othr!! Dat wuznt' da smartest thing wed' evr done cuz we wuz both mediately arrested an handcufed. Dat Patrol took us ta jail an wez' had ta come up wit $100. ta git out. I shore wish Wannita wuld hav come a few days sooner! Next time, I'll have ta tak her along an hopes it happens ta her. If anything good come out of dis, it is da fact dat Jim-Bob had ta paddle dat canoe back by himself!

BuBBa goes Ski'in

(story by BuBBa)

One fine summers day, me an Wannita decided ta goes out to da lake ta do a little campin an fishin an boatin, jus downright enjoyin ourselves. Of course we took da kids wit us cuz we cant' leave em at home cuz of da fire hazard an if ya gots children ya know whats I'ma talkin bout wit da fire hazard. If ya turn yer backs on em fer jus a minute, they wants ta test out them new fire proof curtains ta see if they really wont' burn. Anyway, when we gots out to da lake, we thought we'z wuz gonna have a nice peaceful weekend. We got da tents set up, an all da wood cut fer da fire, an da kids wuz off a fishin. Now I didn't tell no one dat we wuza gunna go campin. But who do ya think showed up? Yep! Ole Jim-Bob an Billie Lou an their 14 kids. You talk bout a mad house. I wuz fit ta be tied, jus thinkin bout me havin a peaceful weekend. Unbeknownst ta me, Wannita had snuck round an told Billie Lou where we wuza goin an told her ta comes on out. Because we had us a new boat (new ta us anyways). Now Jim-Bob suggested we all goes fer a ride. Can you imagine a boat dat sayz 6 people allowed an we gots a total of 20 in it. Good thing da law wasn't round. If'n ole Ranger Dan had ben there, theres no tellin what wuld have happened. Now dis boat wuz state of da art, it haz a inboard motor, a steerin wheel, a rear-view mirrer, an one of dem horns dat whistles "Dixie". Da people dat sold us da boat, musta known how dangerous we really wuz, cuz there wuz even a fire extinguishure in there. We finelly got done wit da boat ride an we dropped off all da kids at da beach so they culd do sum swimmin. Me, Wannita, Jim-Bob an Billie Lou decided we'd go out an trys ta learn how ta ski. Now Wannita done knew how ta ski, so she thought she'd try ta teach me. I put on one of them Life vests, then I put on my ski's. Ya ever try walkin in a boat wit ski's on? Jim-Bob said, "Hey moron, ya put them on in da water". I gave him a dirty look an said, "Like you no anything bout it". Wannita said he wuz right an I hate it when dat happens. So I git outta da boat an tried ta put da skis on. Now ifn' ya know nothin bout ski'in, I can tell ya right now, it is might hard ta strap boards on yer feet. They got sum little rubber things on em, wit sum kinda fancy latch, that ya jus bout gots ta be a college graduate ta operate. Course dat left me out. After flounderin round in da water bout 15 min. Jim-Bob sayz "Come on over here an I'll tighten dem up fer ya". Hense comes another dirty look towards Jim-Bob. I finelly gits them skis on my feet, an they throws me outta rope. Now Wannita is givin me instrucshuns on what ta do an what knot ta do. An I mighta jus got em confused. After they lets out all of da rope, I did what Wannita told me. She said ta hang on to da rope reel tight, put yer feet outs in front of ya, an git in a squattin position. So they gave dat boat da gas, an you'd a thought that line was elastic, cuz it jerked right outta my hand, flew all da way to da boat, an hit Jim-Bob in da back of da head. Jim-Bob wuz knot happy at all. He even spilt his beer. So they comes round an we tries it agin. This time I wuz bound an determined ta hang on to dat rope. I yelled "GO" an aways we went. Shore enuf I hung on to dat rope, an come right outta my ski's. Their draggin me thru da water, I musta looked jus like a top water plug in a bass fishin tournment. Then Wannita yells fer me ta let go of da rope. I did, an I yelled back, " I wish you'd make up yer mind". So wez tried it agin. This time, I thought I done reel good! Wannita said "Stay in da squatted position untils we gits ya up". They pulled on dat rope, an shore enuf I come rights up outta da water. I wuz still in da squatted position, an felt like I wuza gittin an enema. Jim-Bob's a yellin "Stan up" , an of course I learnt long time ago ta stop listenin ta Jim-Bob. Well, kinda. Wannita is wavin her arms an a yellin fer me ta stand up. So, I did. Them skis wuza goin ever direcshun but da way I wanted em to. They started goin apart an I started doin da splits, so I pulled da rope to me. Bad idea. When ya pull a rope to ya while ski'in, yer skis go right out in front of ya an dats when ya do git an enema. I finelly gots better at it, but knot befor learnin a valuble lesson. If'n ya gonna go ski'in, make shore yer shorts fit reel tight. Its' mighty embarassin swimmin back ta find yer shorts.

Removin da Tree

(story by BuBBa)

One day me, Jim-Bob, Billy-Bob, and John T. wuz a sittin round da hous when my Pa said "Why dont' you boys do sumthin useful round here, an take out dat ole tree standin out front before it falls an a hits da hous." So we looks at each other an said we culd handle dat with no problem. Billy-Bob and John T. said they had a saw, an had downed many a tree in there days. Now all we had, wuz an ole dull ax, but we figgered we wuz game ta do just about anything. Pa said fer years dat he wuza gonna cut down that tree whenever he got a roun tuit. Now them roun tuits musta been good fer alot of things, an mighty hards ta come by, cuz Pa couldnt' git anything done without one. Billy-Bob an John T. headed off ta go git da saw, leavin me an Jim-Bob there with da ax ta start a cuttin. We started whittlin away a notch on da side of da tree. Now, there is an art to droppin a tree, you can make one fall anyways ya want to. Jim-Bob looks da tree over reel good an he decided we wuld go away from da house with it. Now dat took alot a smartz to figger out didnt it! Spechilly sense my Ma had just come outta da house an said "Buford Bovine Balfordeeze (dats how I gots my nickname BuBBa), ifins you alls drops dat tree on dis house, you wont see da sun rise agin, cuz I'll stuff u down da well an feed u pig slop!" Now, my Ma had never lied ta me before so I hads a feelin I'd best not mess dis one up. Billy-Bob an John T. had been gone fer sum time so we wuz makin sum good progress on dis tree. It wuz about da time they come back dat I wuz a takin me a little break, dat I noticed we had cut da notch on da wrong side of da tree. Now dat wuznt' good. Of course, Billy-Bob an John T. pointed dat out immediatly. I dont no what it is about Jim-Bob, but he seems to be nothin but bad luck an it seems to all fall on me. Now I rmemberd da words my Ma had said abouts da well, an I didnt think pig slop would taste too good, so I knew I hads ta come up with a plan. I says, we can put a small notch in da other side of da tree then git sum ropes an chains an pull it over da way it needs ta go. So we got sum ropes and tyed them to my 36 chevy, an John T.'s 58 ford, an put sum tension on em. Then we went an gots Pa's truk an we hooked a chain up high in da tree. While Billy-Bob wuz on da saw I told Jim-Bob ta hook da chain up ta Pa's 4 wheel driv. After Billy-Bob had cut most of da way thru, da plan wuz dat I wuld jerk it over. Billy-Bob cut untils he heard it crack and yelled " Jerk it down!!" I left sum slack in da chain so I culd have a run at it. I took off an when da chain got tite, da truk stood up almost strait on its nose! There I wuz eye-ballin da ground. An I starts ta hear metal poppin an da tree a breakin. Now, believe it or not, Jim-Bob had hooked da chain up ta Pa's rear axle. An dis may sound hard ta believe, but ya dont need a rear axle ta driv a 4 wheel driv! Cuz I shur didnt have one when I gots ta da end of dat chain. When dat truk come down, I wuz still on da gas, an my rear-end wuz a draggins behind me. I turnst round just in time ta see dat tree fall, hit da ground, an roll over on my truk! Sure did make it hard ta sit up strait, an git in an out of! When I asks Jim-Bob why he had hooked dat chain to da axle, he said " I didnt want ta bend the railroad iron bumper on yer Pa's truk." Needless ta say, I had ta put da rear-end back under Pa's truk by myself cuz Jim-Bob said he had a case of da wood-chopprs flu. I still thinks he made dat one up!

Fishin fer Northerns

(story by BuBBa)

Jim-Bob hads a brite ideal one tim, an thought we oughts ta go to Kanada ta do a litle fishin fer sum of dem big fish dat people call "northerns". Now I wasnt xactly shur what a northern wuz, so I gots me one of them ther cylopadias, an looked it up ta see what one looked lik. Now, I dont know bout them out-a-state fish, but I does know bout da ones' we have roun here. Da picshur of dat fish looked alots like one of our gar. Now if yas knot knows what a gar is, jus emagin a cross btweenst an algater, a snake, an a fish. Its gotst a long thin body an a long snout wit mor teef than my Wannita has. (Dat aint much, shes only got 5). So I asked Jim-Bob what we wuz gonna use fer bait, cause down here, stink-bait works best. He sez "hows bout yer kids kitens?" I sez lets knot go ther agin!! Whens ya katch a gar, ya best have a club ora gun. Cause if yas throws one in da boat an he gits ta floppin round, he kan cut ya 3 ways. (Deep, wide, an conten-usly). I asked Jim-Bob if we wuz gonna tak a boat or rentz one when we got there. He sayz wesa gonna rent one. Now I knew better ta go fishin wit Jim-Bob cuz he always got me in trouble whens we wents a huntin. But I'z ben outta work fer da last 2 years an Wannita wuz mighty happy ta gits me outta da house. Or outta da dawghouse, cuz Im always in da dawghouse when it coms to Wannita. Me an Jim-Bob jumps in my 36 chevy truk an headed north. Now my old pikup wuld have no problams gittin us there if we culd afferds da gas. My sped-om-eter was broke, butt weza had no problams tellin hows fast wez was a goin cuz we culd watch da gas gage an tell our speds by hows fast it went down. We done alrite on drivin time, til we gots ta North Dakota whens we gots pulled ovr by one of them hiway pattrols. When I asked him why he pulled us over he says cuz I never seen a truk in dis bad of shape dat woulds acshally run. Now I wasnt happy hes wuza makin fun of my ole truk, though Jim-Bob wuz in da backgroun snickrin. Jim-Bob sayz, "Tell dat dern fool NoDak he wouldntst no a good truk if it ran him over." Now I kan tell ya, hiway pattrols from North Dakota don't take kinely to beins called a NoDak. He threatens us wit havin us towed off an thrown in jail untils I convinced him dat Jim-Bob wuznt' on his meddikation, butt I ashured him I would tak kare of dat. He wrotz me a tiket dat wuz 5 foot long, An said wez had ta go ta da courthouse before we culd leeve town. Needless ta say it costed us 2 hunred 20 four & 45 sents for we got outta dat town.(I think da odd number wuz cuz of da Judges house payment.) So whens we got ta da Kanadian bordar, they asked us if we had any guns. Now dat wuz a silly question! I ansered, Hell yes I gots' a gun, I'm a goin fishin fer Northerns do I look stupd? Now they looked at me kinda strange, an said I had ta leaves my gun there. Reluktantly, an afters 2 hours of arguin, Jim-Bob talked me inta leavin my gun an said weed git it on da way bak. We wuz off again. Now dat fine we had ta pay schure got inta our pokets so we culdnt' afferd a good guide or a boat. When we met our guide we went ta dis lake dat looked lik it mightst hav fish in it, an jerked out our poles. Rightst off da bat we katched us sum fish. We wuz gittin hungry so we starts cookin them an went write on fishin. Our guides name was Sigh-eef. Now he was one of them big burly French - Kanadians type people with just one eyebrow! Now, normally that wouldn't be such a strange thing... but ya gotta understand, his one eyebrow was over his one and only eye! I think they callem' a cyklops. !Unbeknownst ta us, there was a bear, peekin out of da bushes. Dat bear wuz wantin our fish an wuznt' gonna take no fer an answer. Jim-Bob sees da bear an tapped me on da shouldr an says Dont look now, butt here comes a big ole bear. I starts peein my pants and a screemin. I wuza turnin circles tryins ta figger out wheres ta go. I got all rapped up in da fishin line amungst all the xcitment an didnt no it, butts' Id jus had bite. Jim-Bob tooks off runnin fer da truk an I wuz tryins ta foller. Butt I wuz all tangled up. I yelled ta Jim-Bob U cant' out runa bear, an he yells bak at me "I dont' have to, I just has ta out run u". Now I didnt' think dat wuz too nice of Jim-Bob. He got in da truk an rolled up da winders an there I wuz all tied up bout half ways to da truk wit a fish danglins by my feet. Where do ya thinks my gun is? Dat's write. At da bordar! Jim-Bob rolled down da winder an yelled to me "Play Dead! If you dont move he wontst hurt ya!" Now dis bear musta been relateds to my Wannita becuz he wuz big, ugly, furry, an hads reel bad breath! I just closed my eyes an imagined it wuz my Wannita when she is in da mood, an acted like I wuz asleep. Luky fer me all dat bear wanted wuz my fish. When da bear left, Sigh-eef comes over an sez you didnt' need to be scared of him he was just a big ole cuddley pet of his. Said he sleeps at the foot of his bed every nite. Then he winked at me with that one eye. I went over to da truk an I told Jim-Bob lets git da hell outta Kanada. When I got back to da bordar they asked me how my trip wuz. When I told them my storie, they laffed at me an I said, Now I sees why ya didnt wants me ta have a gun, cuz I would of darn shur shot Jim-Bob fer leavin me there! I swears I will never go back.

Drive by Turky shootin

(story by BuBBa)

Me and Jim-Bob had ben deer huntin with our bows. Weed seen bout 6 deer that day and flung arrers at every one of em. Jim-Bob got closer than I did, he hit a tree where them their deer had been standin by. All my arrers was bent, so I was havin to shoot behind em, and let the arrer curve to em. I didn't have a chance. We thunk we had a reely good chance to get one, when this big ole buck with 18 points come walkin up to us. (Jim-Bob sez it had 18 but he can't count an it wuz two cold to have his boots off, an besides that, he's missin 3 toes.) Anyways, it wuz a gitten cold and we wuz out of beer, so we had to go to my house to git more beer. On the way home, we sees a turky standin on a hillside. I tole Jim-Bob, Lets me use one of your arrers, I think I can hit him. Jim-Bob sez, "If I let u shoot my arrer, u'd just miss em". I sez, I no I can't hit em with mine. He agreed to let me use his. I sez, Go down the road a bit an I will jump in back, an we will drive back by, an I'll shoot em. Shur enuf I gets in back an we drove back by. I tole Jim-Bob stops write here. I flung an arrer an shur enuf hit that there turky. I thunk Jim-Bob wuz gunna spill our last beer he wuz so excited. We jumps outta the truk an the chase wuz on. We chased that turky over 3 hills an to the crick bottom. Man can them turkys run. Only thing I can think of faster than a turky is the speed that antlers grow when ya shoots a deer with nuthin but a doe permit. That there turky wuz down over the crick bank. An so I peekd over the bank to sees what hes a doin. To my surprize, hes a doin the same thing we wuz. Try-in to ketch his breath. Man wuz we tired. Bein good huntrs, we leaves our bows in the truk, cuz we didnt have permisshun to hunt their. As I sees it I only had one optshun. I wuz gonna have to jump him. So I got prepareds and Jim-Bob stoods their an watched. I jumped over that there bank an when I wuz in the air, that turky sees me an took off. But it takes alot of smartz to out smartz ole BuBBa. An I wuz on him like a chiken on a june-bug. I lands on that there turky an grabs him by da neck. I sits on em butt he still had a wing out. I wasnt' bout to let go. That there turky treeted me like I had dandruff. He wuz beetin me on the head an shoulders. Jim-Bobs over yellin "Ring his neck, Ring his neck". I tole him I'm try-in to. 5 minutes go by an that there turky wuz still beetin me to death. I decides if Im' a gonna kills this turky, Im' a gonna have to choke him down. An thats what I did. Jim-Bob thunk it wuz funny an won't let me fourgit it to this day. Cuz he sez, "If wes go huntin today, promise me knot to choke yur chickn". That year we had a great Thanksgivin dinner. Jim-Bob comes over with his wife an 14 kids. That there turky fed 23 people, an I wuz reely thank-full that it had quit beetin me on the head and shoulders.

Moonshine And Giggin

(story by BuBBa)

Back when me an Jim-Bob wuz just kids, we use ta git into more mischef, then my Ma culd stand. So to keep us outta trouble, she wuld sends us out 2 da swamp 2 do a little frog-giggin. I rmember when we wuz 16 we got into sum of Pa's moonshine (I kan spell that write). In July, where we live, it wuz mitey hot. So ya didnt' do much in da day-tyme. Me an Jim-Bob had bout a quart of Pa's shine each. Now Pa made sum reel good moonshine an it had many purpuses. U culd strip paint or remove rust from ole cars, u culd put it in a buket an git a tire pump an runs a cuttin torch, cleen carburators, an evens remove greese stains from yer clothes. Among its many other uses, are most favrite wuz drinkin it. Now that wuz just bout as safe as wrastlin with a porkupine. It wuz pretty hot that day, so hot, weed seen a horny-toad paking a canteen, but after a quart of Pa's shine we wuz seeins all sorts of things. Ma sed she wanted eggs an leggs 4 breakfast da next mornin, so she sends us out 2 da swamp 2 git sum frog. Now theres many ways to katch frogs. Ya kan net em, hook em, fish fer em, club em, or katch em buy hand. But are most favrite way is 2 spotlite em, an stik em wit a frog-gig. Now we wuz in no shape 2 be in a boat at nite tyme. Ya just never know wheres a log mite be floatin. Afer scootin cross the water, we shur enuf found our first log. We hit da log bout 15 mils per hour, an I wuz air-born. Jim-Bob sed I looked like an Albatross gainst da moonlite. I hits da water an that wuznt' good cuz we have gators. Big ones. Big ugly meen ones. Ya wooda thought my name was Jezus cuz I wuz walkin on water. I dont know why nothin ever happens to Jim-Bob. He wuz laffin so hard at me, till I threatin to gig em. We finelly got 2 do sum froggin. I hads a rope tyed 2 my gig an tyed 2 my waste, so I wuldnt's loose my gig. Jim-Bob tyed da rop fer me with sum new-fangled not heed learnt. Told me it wuldnt' cum un-tyed. We had quite a few frogs in our buket whens I looked over an sees what I thought wuz da bigest frog I'd ever seen. I told Jim-Bob if yas kan git me over there we'll be eatin frog leggs fer a weak. As we got closer, I got reedy to gig em. When we got close enuf, I stuk em. Wen I stuk em, da water xploded an I new I wuz in trouble. Jim-Bob yells "Gator" at da top of his lungs. That there frog turns out ta be a 6 foot gator. Rmembr da rope? I did. I hits da bottom of da boat like a June-bug on a windsheeld. Now a 6 foot gator ways bout a hunred pounds. But whens hes a jerkin on a rope he feels like 500 pounds. Rmembr the not? I did. I wuz clingtin at da botom of da boat like stink on a polecat. Jim-Bob wuz yellin "un-tye da not! un-tye da not!" I wuz yellin, Halp! Halp! Halp! Ya thinks Jim-Bob nos how 2 un-ye da not? Nope! There wuz frogs jumpin all over da boat an I wuz a yellin Halp! Halp! Jim-Bob finelly rmembrd he had a knife an he cuts da rope. I wuz never so happy to loose one of my frog-gigs. We learned a valuable lesson that there nite, if yas gonna go frog giggin, da only kinds of moonshine ya wants involved had best be in da sky.