Wannita's Ad-vice fer a Happy Mare-age

Girls, if ya wants to keep yer mare-age happy, an keep yer man homes druul-in fers ya, then ya have come to da write place. Wannita can tells ya all ya needs ta know bout druull-in men, an hows to keep yer mare-age spiced (if not liqored) up whether ya bens mare-reed one year or twentie years. Me an BuBBas ben happily mare-reed 22 years now, an even with 2 kids an a apendectommy, ta this day, he still utters da words-"Oh my Good God, Lord help Me"- just like he did on our weddin nite, when he first saws me in my birthday suit.

Da first reel thing ya gots to rmembr girls is that they are men. Not gots a hole lot of smarts goin on fer em. Thats da key to it all girls. They all likes to believe there all smartr than us. Ya gots to let em keep believin that. If they evens gits an inklin u mites be smartr than em, theyll drop ya like a rottin hedge apple. I know, yer a-sayin to yerselfs, "But why should I play dum?" Cauze that makes em feel like they are superior to ya, like they actschully have sumthin over on ya. But weez know better.

Next thing ya gots to do is learn hows to cook reel well. Yer Mama was write when she told ya, that a way to a mans heart wuz thru his stommack. Da way to any-thing on his body (specially his wallet poket) is thru his stommack. Nuthin like a sweet potata rum pie to make him flop in front of da T.V. an start a sawin them there logs. (thus leavin him limp enuf to git da wallet out).

Keep yer body in shape fer him. Be sure to git lots a xcercize to keep them mussles firm. I know that with all da cookin, an a cleanin, an a diaprin, an a skinnin, an other chores ya has ta do, that its hard ta find time to xcercize. Actshully, if ya ask, most husbends will help ya out with that part of it. Just ask em sumtime to be honest with ya bout da way ya look. Ask em if they think yer fat or knot. Odds are they thinks ya looks just fine. Problem solved! No needs to xcercize!

Most men likes to help a woman round da house too. They are just waitins fer ya to ask. But cuz they are knot too brite, they dont understands it when ya out write ask em. So ya has to be more smarter then they are once again. Why it never fails that ole Bubba will gits up an a starts doin sumthin on our house once I ask him da write way. All I says is "Bubba, I feels like a talkin". An boy howdy does he go to busy-in himself, either a cleanin or a fixin, or a wantin to take the kids a fishin.

Sex, yep, another key to a happy mare-rage. Ya gots to know how to pleeze yer man, an ya do this by playins hard ta git. Men likes it when a woman plays hard ta git. This goes back to lettin them think they are smartr than us. Most men wants it, when they wants it. Dont seems ta matter if ya wants it or knot. An if ya wants it an they donts, ya mite as well give up. Its' knot a gonna happen. So be-ins we got more smartz than them, ya have to stand yer ground girls. When ya believe theys a gonna start gittin amorus with ya, ( an this usually happens on poker nite) beet em to it. This will extingwish any of them there desires they gots a goin an keeps u with da upper hand. A few weeks of this an they'll come a beggin ya fer yer body with promises of anyting ya culd want. (BuBBa also pays more attention to me when he sees Ben at the Co-op put a little more chiken feed in my sack an a wink at me). Then, an only then, does ya give in, afters ya gots what ya want from em.

Make em feel like a man. (This part ya can also do when yer finelly havin sex.) My Bubba loves it when wes are finelly rollin in da hay an I yells, "Yeah!, Ride on ya beer-bellyd stud muffin".(Most men likes it when a woman talks dirty to em).

Trust-yes, honey, ya gots ta trust em. Trust em in da fact that there gonna lie to ya every chance they get. An they wont neccesarilly lie to ya, they just dont tell ya da hole truth. They cans find 10 ways round it every time. As long as ya rmembrs this, an perpares fer it, your mare-age will survive. Of course, ya can never lets em know that ya know there a lie-in. Best thing I found ta do is just nod yer head an smile, --- then follers em every chance ya git.

No woman can a-fords ta be without Patients. Yes girls, ya must be patient with yer man. Theys all slow, dont matter which one ya get. They all have 2 speeds, slow or dead stop. If ya have yer smarts bout ya, you'll learns to tell him yer appointments are a hour earlyr then what it reely is. If ya ever herds em talk bout there mothers, they always say she had great patients.( An all men deeps down hopes his wife can mother him.)

Well girls, I hopes this dab of informations is helpfull to ya. Each an every one ya has da abilty ta make yer man happy an ta have a wonderfull mare-age. I'l be shur to add more as I come accros em, especially fer you yung en's out there, cuz I know ya needs all da help ya can git when yer first mare-eed. Me an BuBBa wooden't have got this far if sumone hadn't helped me out so many years ago. Most I can do is ta give sumthin back an maybe, just maybe, help sumone else ta have as good a mare-age as Ive'a had all these years. I figures its da least I can do. Til next time..... Wannita (BuBBas wife)