BuBBa's Favrite 'Puter Terms

ACTIVE DESKTOP - Caused from leevin food on da puter desk

AOL - Any ole' looser

Apple - What Wannita sends me after fer pies

Backup - What ya do when ya sees a skunk in the woods

Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at da tavern

Bitmap - Left over parts of a ten-year old map

Bug - The reason ya give for callin in sick

Byte - What yer pitbull dun to cusin Jethro

Cache - Needed when ya run out of food stamps

Cad - How Wannita shuts down da puter(ctrl,alt,delete)

CD~Rom - Uther side of the tracks wher the pope use ta live

Chip - Pasture muffins that ya try not to step in

Computer - New fangeled TV Set

Copy - How BuBBa got threw skool

CPU - We callem' skunks round here

Crash - When ya go to Junior's party uninvited

Data - Oppisit of Dissa

Default - What da bank sez we done on our loan

Defrag - What wez does ta our frigerator evry 3 months(or is dat defrost, cant' rmembr)

Digital - The art of countin on yer fingers

Diskette - Female Disco dancer

Display - Not much beter than da last one we saw

Documents - Translation of what da doc acshully sez

DOS - Dont' own Squat

Dot Matrix - Ole' Dan Matrixs' wife

Double Click - When yer lighter wont' lite the first time

Download - Bowel movement

Dual Processors - When 2 revenuers come callin

DVD - Deadly Venereal Disease

E-Mail - Knot male, knot female

Encryption - What they did ta those Egyptian Kings

Enter - Northrn fer "Come on in y'all"

Fat 32 - Wannita wuz fat long fore that

Fax - What ya lie about to the IRS

File - Da trash can

Floppy Disk - See Micro~Soft

Font - What ya call a baby deer(da T is silent)

Format - What ya wipes yer feet on b'forst ya come in da house

Frames - Held tagether by black tape so Wannita kan see

Gateway - Best way through the fence

GIF - What I gives Wannita fer her birthday

Hacker - Uncle Otis after 32 years of smokin

   Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selectin tatoos

Hard Drive - The trip home from the bar wit the Police behind ya

Home Page - Call 2 Wannita 2 come gits me at the bar

ICQ - I cant' Quit

IBM - Immense Bowel Movement

Intellimouse - What we mus hav here, cuz our cat shore cant' catch em!

   Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

Java - Coffee, what else

Java Applets - Coffee & Apple slices, duh!

Java Script - Papers aftr ya spilt da coffee on em

JPEG - Beter than a nail ta hang yer coat on

   Keyboard - Where ya hang the keys to the John Deere

LapTop - Where I puts my plate

Laser Jet - Navys new air~plane

LCD - Little C-D Rom

Log Off - Dont' add no mor fire wood

Log On - Makes da wood stove hoter

   Mac - Big BuBBa's favorite fast food

Mainframe - Holds up da barn roof

Megabytes - What BuBBa gits when he steps on da coon-dogs tail

Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers

Micro Chip - Left over Doritos

Micro~Soft - What Wannita calls BuBBa's thingy aftr' a twelv pack

Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high

Monitor - What Wannita duz 2 the scanner 2 find BuBBa

Mouse - What Wannita uses' for tampons

   Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live

Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line

   Online - Where to stay when takin the sobriety test

Passwords - How yer kids keep ya off da puter

Pentium - What wez do to da dog when he barks too much

Pentium 2 - Same thing-but both dogs

Plug~N~Play - What Wannita does wit her toys

Port - Fancy Flatlander Wine

Printer - What BuBBa uses ta make dolar bills fer da stripper show (it werks-it is dark, ya know)

Product - Hi-Strength duct tape

Product Support - Extra layer of Hi-Strength duct tape

Product Update - Totally replacin da duct tape

Program - What ya have yer kids do 2 the VCR

Programmer - Someone dat has mastered da Enlish language

Prompt - What da mail aint' in da winter time

RAM - Hard 2 hunt an lives in the mountins

Research - When ya cant' find yer truk keys da first time

   ROM - Where da pope lives

Scan Disk - Lookin at da floppy ta see whats' on it

Scanner - How Wannita knows where BuBBa is

Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch

SCSI - What ya call yer week-old underwear

Serial Port - A red wine ya drink with breakfast

S D RAM - Super-Duper sheep wit reely big horns

Software - Plastic forks an knifes

Sony - Which reminds me, need to raise puter desk

Spread Sheet - Wannita does dis for da food ta sit on at a picnic

  Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year

SVGA - Skinny Virgins, give address

Technical - Darn shore dont' unnerstand dat one

Terminal - Time 2 call the under~taker

Upgrade - What BuBBa could never do in school

Upload - Prayin 2 the porcelin God

Utilities - What gits shut off on a reglar basis

Virus - What my sister Daisy-Joe cant' git rid of

Wave Table - Fancy name for bowed table

Windows - What ya shut when it gits cold

World~Wide~Web - Where them big ole' spiders live

WYSIWYG - Why you stupid idiot whar ya goin (people say dat ta BuBBa all da time)